That I Might Get it Right

A few years ago i started a blog and documented big turning points in my life and things that impacted me. When i started this blog i was friends with a girl who, i can now say, has influenced my life in so many ways that she will never know. We never got to be close because her path was and is so much different than mine, but nonetheless i'm thankful that she came into my life even for the short time she did. Today i logged onto my blog for the first time in two years and started reading blogs of people i had once followed.. I was amazed at the wisdom this young woman had and has. At church, there is a Bible study for wisdom beyond our years (for teens and people in their twenties) and when i sat back and compared myself to the people around me, i found myself feeling like im doing a pretty good job and that i'm better than so-and-so and all them as far as wisdom and maturity go....but today i was taken aback because i am SO far from the wisdom i should have and the advancements i should have made and should be making in my life by now.... when i compare my life to this woman's (i know i shouldnt compare), but this was a reality check.. Taelor, get your life in order. I've slipped away from the importance of daily following the Lord and letting Him show me the things He will, and allowing myself to be totally completely moved by Him. It is so strange to even think that this godly woman with so much wisdom 'beyond her years' was my friend of old and that she is my very same age. I need to change my life in a big way.. and now I need to counsel with God to find the answers.

A lot has gone on with my life in the past two years and i could spend all of forever recapping because those years, and this year included, are so vital to a growing and maturing young adult. I've made choices for the better and choices that didn't turn out so well for me. Yet, through every choice i've made I have learned so so much from them and that is one thing that i wouldn't ever regret.

At this stage in my life, people expect me to have a general idea of what i want to do with the rest of my life and be taking steps, already, toward accomplishing small things leading up to my goal. The thing of it is that though i might tell you that i'm going to a university close to home to save money and that i'll be studying fashion design, business, and spanish,,,, but i don't have a clue what i want to do with my life. Today, i've realized that this life is not just about how much you make per year and what car you drive and if you have a white fence in front of your house.. no. Life is something bigger than that. Yes, do the best you can and be the best you can be and give all glory to the One who is worthy, but what have you done for Him in all humility and selflessness? What have you done for our Creator that didnt involve padding your reputation and making you more successful? I don't want to get to the Pearly Gates and stand before my God to have Him say "You cared more about yourself than you did Me. Why did you never help _______, or serve Me in _________ ways?" I want to live my life for my God and if He needs me to be poor and have nothing in order to fulfill His purpose for my life, i want to be able to get to the point of accepting that. I wouldn't really want to be poor, but even more so i do not want to be blinded by the world in all its prestige and greed.

God, please show me what you want for my life because i feel lost and confused. I feel like I am too young and know nothing of adult importance, yet am somehow supposed to function in an adult world. Help me to see clearly the path i should take and give me the willing heart to obey and follow You to the very gates of Hell and back as long as You will hold me and protect me every step of the way. Develop me into the woman You want me to be for Your Kingdom, so that one day You can look at me and say "Well done, my good and faithful servant".

Thank you for never leaving me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfc9y7X3zog